Mental illness can be so subtle.

I have known someone since birth and it is only 45 years later that I see what I cannot undo.

Try as I might to be kind and extend love it is sent back to me as an attack that I can no longer "not see" and that others close to her refuse to see or address.

I do realize that I have no choice but to continue to be knifed or walk away.

In my walk of life atonement (undoing of the belief in separation from God and one another and its consequences) is the only thing that can redeem any of us.

I believe that the awareness of these attitudes and the harm they can do is a sign that Christ (all that is) is waking up and realizing that this is not who He really is.

The belief that we have any real identity as a body is a false trap because our spiritual being is lost or at the very least caged.

I am grateful that I can use all situations and circumstances as a reflection on the one relationship that truly matters or even exists and that is the one between myself and my creator, call Him what you will.

The Inner Voice that we each have access to which I call the Holy Spirit guides me step by step to know what I can do and I have to say that I am gaining more and more evidence that to do nothing is correct. While trusting that the the Holy Spirit will reach them when they are ready.

I have to admit that I did "warn" the next generation, to the extent of telling him why I could not be close to his mother.

I have found that protecting myself has cost me the "facade of friendliness" with the rest of the family but I had come to a place where I could no longer ignore it.

Did my older child have it as well?

Was it brought about by the mind-games of the man I brought into their lives when I was young?

Who knows.

That does not matter.

The fact that we are meant to live in a state of peace and joy is significant and that many are waking up to this fact is a positive thing.

If I speak much more I will simply give those who will reason to cast stones and claim that I must have been the narcissist in the whole situation.

All I can say is that Father "waits" for us to understand that He is our source of all satisfaction. That we will each discover this one day I have no doubt.