My thoughts* on A Course in Miracles Workbook Lesson 21, 21 January 2025. CAUTION: TRIGGERS, this gets weird.

I am determined to see things differently.

1. The idea for today is obviously a continuation and extension of the preceding one. ²This time, however, specific mind-searching periods are necessary, in addition to applying the idea to particular situations as they may arise. ³Five practice periods are urged, allowing a full minute for each.

2. In the practice periods, begin by repeating the idea to yourself. ²Then close your eyes and search your mind carefully for situations past, present or anticipated that arouse anger in you. ³The anger may take the form of any reaction ranging from mild irritation to rage. ⁴The degree of the emotion you experience does not matter. ⁵You will become increasingly aware that a slight twinge of annoyance is nothing but a veil drawn over intense fury.

3. Try, therefore, not to let the “little” thoughts of anger escape you in the practice periods. ²Remember that you do not really recognize what arouses anger in you, and nothing that you believe in this connection means anything. ³You will probably be tempted to dwell more on some situations or persons than on others, on the fallacious grounds that they are more “obvious.” ⁴This is not so. ⁵It is merely an example of the belief that some forms of attack are more justified than others.

4. As you search your mind for all the forms in which attack thoughts present themselves, hold each one in mind while you tell yourself:

²I am determined to see ____________ [name of person] differently.

³I am determined to see ________________ [specify the situation] differently.

5. Try to be as specific as possible. ²You may, for example, focus your anger on a particular attribute of a particular person, believing that the anger is limited to this aspect. ³If your perception is suffering from this form of distortion, say:

⁴I am determined to see ____________ [specify the attribute] in ____________ [name of person] differently.

* Once we are allowing Father to Guide us through SPIRIT within, we want to still listen to what comes up.

* I had an ugly thought the other night as I lay down to sleep, “If someone would poison plants they could just as easily poison a person.” And I thought of the lady who left us on Thanksgiving. She was an “outlier” and not someone that ‘he’ liked. It took me a while to go to sleep after that. “Don’t take any food from him again” was going through my mind.

* Well, yesterday I did take some food and last night I woke up with food poisoning and was miserable for about three hours. It could have come from a lot of places if I were honest.

* He mentioned to me a few days ago how sick he and the manager got when he was cleaning this apartment. There had been a bug going around that I got as well but he said what he did with such “nasty” energy and tone it was like he was trying to say that I shouldn’t be living here because I would get sick. He still holds his anger toward her and why would I not know he’d do the same to me or anybody else?

* The point I am making is that while we are in the world and we are doing our best to “not be in it” confusing things are going to present themselves. Even after we have accepted the Atonement, and we are following Father’s Guidance by listening to SPIRIT within.

* I am not going to say that everything is going to go away and be a breeze because it is not. But holding the energy and space for Father’s REALITY and the fact that the Sonship can make mistakes but they are NOT REAL is IMPORTANT.

* Now, was this SPIRIT directing me not to eat anything, or is the whole thing remnants of ego mania trying to get the upper hand and tell me that I am not safe? I cannot say that I am sure though I think doing without is the wiser thing.

* It’s like putting that blue ring on my wedding band finger is part of me saying, “I am not going to let you frighten me. Father rules in my life and I am cared for, even by you though, you may hide it behind your hate and biases and belief in separation and suffering.” (see video #123 History, recorded on the 20th of January)

* Remember that what I do is to tell me what I believe. At least, that is what I understand today.

* I know that I may sound crazy but this is how I am processing my experience of Heaven on Earth in FORM. Xo

(ACIM, W-21.1:1–5:4)

To Father be ALL Glory and Praise Given, AS His Son, debi.